Are you a Cynic?
Po Ai recommended Cynic’s Sanctuary recently… & omfg…the cynic’s dictionary is quite amusing. Examples…
JOB
A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.
SALARY
A market value assigned to professionals as a function of their scarcity, their usefulness to employers and their ability to feign enthusiasm for their work.
CUBICLE
A sensory deprivation chamber designed to boost productivity in the workplace, at least according to people who work in corner offices with large windows.
LUNCH
In the business world, a midday feast formerly enjoyed in the company of colleagues but now reduced to a few gulps in front of the computer when no one is looking.
MISSION STATEMENT
A corporate creed passed on to employees so they can remember why they’re skipping lunch.
PROFESSIONAL
1. In personal ads, the most desirable sort of potential mate.
2. In the streets, a prostitute.
3. In the business world, see definition #2.
TEAM PLAYER
The type of cooperative, self-effacing employee beloved by corporations that promote egotists to the top positions.
MANAGEMENT
A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more talented underlings.
& yes, i picked definitions relating to W-O-R-K... on purpose.
Btw...meet Po Ai, my auditor...who might be reading this in between REcounting bricks which i have already counted! GO TO SLEEP WOMAN!
JOB
A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.
SALARY
A market value assigned to professionals as a function of their scarcity, their usefulness to employers and their ability to feign enthusiasm for their work.
CUBICLE
A sensory deprivation chamber designed to boost productivity in the workplace, at least according to people who work in corner offices with large windows.
LUNCH
In the business world, a midday feast formerly enjoyed in the company of colleagues but now reduced to a few gulps in front of the computer when no one is looking.
MISSION STATEMENT
A corporate creed passed on to employees so they can remember why they’re skipping lunch.
PROFESSIONAL
1. In personal ads, the most desirable sort of potential mate.
2. In the streets, a prostitute.
3. In the business world, see definition #2.
TEAM PLAYER
The type of cooperative, self-effacing employee beloved by corporations that promote egotists to the top positions.
MANAGEMENT
A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more talented underlings.
& yes, i picked definitions relating to W-O-R-K... on purpose.
Btw...meet Po Ai, my auditor...who might be reading this in between REcounting bricks which i have already counted! GO TO SLEEP WOMAN!
she caught me "sleeping" at work...
posted by ashlin at 11:52 PM
2 comments
